This blog tells the story of my daughter, Saimi Aina, who passed away at the age of five. Or perhaps more accurately, it tells the story of Saimi and me, her father. I write about our journey together, one post at a time, from the womb and the maternity ward in Barcelona to the memorial grove in Helsinki. I don’t have a detailed plan for the upcoming posts, nor do I know how many posts the blog will eventually include, but my aim is to write weekly.
My main motivation for writing is a strong need and desire to go through our life and remember the time we shared with Saimi, and to write those memories down. As I write, I go through photographs, messages, and other documents from each period, trying to bring back as many memories as possible and piece them together. Our journey together includes a lot of joy and happiness, but revisiting the more difficult moments is emotionally painful. Yet, I don’t want to forget those either. I feel it is important to face even the hardships and the most distressing moments through writing.
I write in a style and level of detail that feels right at the time. Later on – once I have told the story – I may return to the texts to revise and expand them. I write about Saimi’s life not only for myself, but also for our family, for everyone who knew her, and for our friends. Some of the people who were important to Saimi, as well as some of our friends, don’t speak Finnish, so I also translate the texts into English, at least to begin with. These translations are done fairly quickly, so they may occasionally be a bit rough, but I hope they still convey the meaning and feeling of the original texts.
I also feel that Saimi’s life and our experiences may be of interest to others, and I hope the texts will reach people who might want to read them. Perhaps our experiences can offer some support to parents going through difficult times. I also hope to show that even when life is very challenging, it can still be full of love, happiness, and laughter – even if that is not always easy to see in the moment.
I won’t enable comments on individual posts, but anyone who wishes can leave a message in the guestbook or contact me by email at saimi.aina.blog@gmail.com
~ Hans, Saimi’s father